TSA agent tries to tell me I can’t board a flight. I laugh at him. He scurries off like a little bitch.A consistent theme through this site is the TSA having no idea what they’re doing and just making up rules to flex their muscles. The most pathetic example of this came early on in my jetsetting terrorism career, shortly after being added to The List.
I was flying out of SFO. It was the standard TSA experience, from security to the gate. It wasn’t until I was through the gate that it got good.
It was one of those gates where a large portion of the walk to the plane is outside, under a canopied walkway, and you board the plane from the tarmac. Right where the canopied portion of the walkway ended, a sole TSA agent was waiting.
“Mister ____, I need to see your ID.”
<Rolling my eyes, handing him my ID.>
“No,” he said. “Passport. I need your passport.”
“Domestic flight.” I said.
“I need your passport.”
“Domestic flight.” I said.
“I need a passport before I can let you board this plane.”
You know when someone is so objectively wrong and their mentally deficient request is so objectively baseless that you aren’t even inspired to dignify it with a response? It was one of those times.
I laughed at him. Then I folded my arms and stared.
Not speaking is among the most powerfully intimidating things you can do to a challenger. You should try it. Bullies can’t stand it.
I was sort of intentionally blocking passage to the tarmac, and as a line of people formed behind me, pressure mounted on this bozo to make a move.
He handed me my ID back and scurried off. What a clown.
Hey TSA doofus: Now your feeble attempt at bullying has a worldwide audience. Wave to your mom.