When I was a child things were a fucking mess. I won’t dishonor my family by exposing all the gory details but believe me when I say that I have seen every kind of debauchery brought on by addiction. I have cried every kind of tear and lived through every kind of poverty and cycle of abuse because of the insane effects of drugs and drink on the people I once loved. Today other than my relationship with my adopted father my biological family is non-existent, broken, gone, over….
I went to prison at the age of 21 for burning down a multi-million dollar meth operation. I have never told the entire story, or even half of the story publically. Mainly because even when I recant it today I am hard pressed to believe that I lived through those events. besides, the timing is not right, one day it will be, but that’s not today. In any case that action was the domino that brought down a four state drug ring and sent me to prison for arson. To a maximum security penitentiary for 4 years. A placed where I witnessed stabbings, horrible beatings, gang violence and more filth and insanity brought on by drugs and alcohol. I got the X’s tattooed on my hands in that hell hole. I came out with a 1000 yard stare and a slight case of PTSD.
To me Straight Edge is not a joke. It’s not something you do until your 21 and then throw a kegger and have a party to celebrate breaking. It’s not a fad, school of thought, philosophy or sociology experiment. It’s who I was back then, who I am today and it’s who I will be until the day that I die.
Through the years I have seen so many Straight Edge bands that once had so much love and influence, in the lives of so many kids. And I have seen so many of these bands break Edge and shit all over everything that they once held so true. I’ve seen them sell out, start drinking, drugging and smoking and make a mockery of everything I, we, have fought so hard against.
Bands like BOLD, STRIFE and JUDGE to name just a few of the larger examples. Now in the 2000’s these pieces of shit have come back decades later to do reunion tours and cash in on the past. Playing anthems that were once real and true to groups of kids that are hungry for the history of Straight Edge, or those that are just there for the scene points. But you can’t go back. These sellouts are just a shell, not the real thing. they are a caricature of themselves. They are the same ilk as all the others that blabber and shoot off at the mouth about the glory days when they used to be Straight Edge. As far as I am concerned they can all go sell their bullshit stories and band merchandise down the road. they didn’t understand it then and they sure as fuck don’t get it now!
Now I’m an adult, I’ve spent many years promoting Veganism and Animal Liberation. With every bit of extra cash, time or labor I could muster, I did the ground work. All of my true friends still do this work and are unsung heroes of this movement. I burned down three businesses of Animal exploitation across two states. I refused to apologize or equivocate to two federal courts of law. I now spend years locked away in a counter-terrorism prison unit, monitored by homeland security and surrounded by religious fanatics.
My only regret is seeing the ethics and purity of the Vegan ideal and way of life stripped of it’s concern for Animals and replaced with a bunch of rich white people eating cupcakes, pandering to product manufacturers, pulpit pounding at conventions in swanky hotels, and self congratulating each other. While huge welfarist organizations siphon money off of those that are concerned, into their fat, deep pockets. Just like every parasitic scam charity of the past. They are getting rich off of the pain and suffering of their host and the expense of a lazy and apathetic populace.
Doesn’t anybody care about the Animals? Where did those Vegans go? Of course I have met the use-to-be’s in this crowd as well. ‘I used to be Vegan but’….. ‘I wasn’t getting enough protein’, ‘I felt dizzy’, ‘I don’t have the right body (or blood) type for it, ‘I missed cheese’, ‘It got in the way of my relationships’, etc. etc. etc. Meanwhile, as a 6′ 2″ man that weighs 230 pounds I exist on a Vegan prison diet of rice, beans, peanut butter and apples. Miraculously, I have not perished from malnutrition. In fact I take no medication or supplements and am in excellent health.
Most people break Vegan because of apathy, gluttony, and the selfishness of their palate. They were weaned into a taste for flesh and blood and are now creatures of habit. But here’s a novel idea, maybe Veganism isn’t about you and your awakenings or hankerings. Veganism is about billions of Animals that die torturous deaths because of you! Because of the industries of exploitation and murder that you choose to support with your money, and it’s about boycotting all those products in your everyday life as a first and positive step towards Animal and Earth Liberation. It’s about giving a fuck about all innocent life more than our consumer privileges!
I know, I know I’m the big bad wolf because I insist on defining problems and solutions. Because I am more concerned with being effective than making everyone feel included. And because I call out the fakes, phonies and frauds. Instead of letting everyone play make-believe-militant or cookie-cutter-‘activist’. So be it, I am what I am, and it is what it is.
‘Fuck the two faced liars, fuck all who go untried, fuck the evil bastards that still stand by their sides. Fuck all who cheapen what I truly am in others’ eyes. Fuck all who bent the [Vegan] Straight Edge, with their fucking lies!’