Postal Annoyance Brigade Sends Magazines to Utah Vivisectors

 

Communiqué from the Postal Annoyance Brigade
Date: February 27, 2009
Institution Targeted: Utah Vivisectors

Received anonymously

Greetings from The Postal Annoyance Brigade!

About a year ago the P.A.B. thoughtfully subscribed 3 of our good vivisecting murderous friends to some choice magazines.

Robert H. Lane of xxxxx xxxxx Dr. in Salt Lake City, Utah; Alessandra Angelucci (& Her Husband Paul Bressloff) of xxxxx xxxxx Way in Salt Lake City, Utah; and Jennifer Ichida of xxxxx xxx Ave. in Salt Lake City, Utah, all received multi-thousands of dollars worth of magazine subscriptions.

We even sent a few hundred dollars worth of subscriptions to our old friend Audie Leventhal, who has since retired from the feild of vivisection yet still puts his name on other vivisectors work.

The P.A.B. is back!

We have sent many friends our gifts, and hope that they will be receiving more gifts time and time again. As subscriptions take time, we are unable to release the names of our other friends we have rewarded with the timeless memories of magazines. Future communiques will be seen. Just a hint: “Fur is a sin, Wear your own skin!”

The P.A.B.
The Postal Annoyance Brigade

Here is how we do it:

While you shop at any store that sells magazines, look around the floor of the magazine section and you will see subscription cards (they look like post cards).

Gather up the ones you see and put them in your pocket.

If you are more daring just open up some magazines and a few should fall out.

Try to gather as many different varieties as you can.

Now take them to your home or a park and seperate them by magazine.

Find your ‘friends’ details, and start filling out a card from each pile.

Once you are done filling out the info for that ‘friend’ move onto another friend and continue until all cards are gone. If you only have a few friends, you can try giving them nicknames. Charlie may be Chuck, you wouldn’t want your friend to miss a magazine just because you sent it to Charlie and not Chuck.

Having trouble finding friends? look up “the final nail” they have lists and lists of friends for you to choose from.

Now, take the stacks of cards and find idle post boxes. Try and seperate the cards so that there are no more than 5 to a post box. The mail man may get a little suspicious if he sees 100 cards.

That’s it. They should start receiving magazines within the next 2-4 weeks.

Why it works? The magazines will start coming in every week to every month. If your friend doesn’t stop the subscriptions it will charge them. They will be billed and will have to argue that bill isn’t valid. Which takes time and even a little money sometimes. When a friend receives hundreds of magazines they have no more time to sit and sort through false bills. They will either have to just pay the bills or hire a person to sort through them. Often times a magazine company will charge the person for the first issue even if they cancel their subscriptions, some even charge a small cancellation fee. This is both time and cost consuming, this is why it works.